


I Dreamt We Spoke Again

by YellowLipstick



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Blood and Injury, Cussing, Dialogue Heavy, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:25:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 3,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22147123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YellowLipstick/pseuds/YellowLipstick
Summary: Rey dreams of Kylo Ren every night.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 17
Kudos: 49





	1. I Dreamt We Spoke Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: “I Dreamt We Spoke Again” by Death Cab for Cutie

Rey woke up. Well. She opened her eyes and woke up to a different reality. She was sleeping, dreaming, and had awoken within her dream to find herself in an alien room, with Kylo Ren. It was always him. Every night now, she dreamed of him.

It always started the same.

"Rey..." Kylo Ren breathed out, like he could hardly believe she was here, in their shared dreamscape, night after night.

Rey would be distant, cold, but then... "Rey, are you safe?"

He never asked where she was. He never tried to find her location, the location of the Resistance. He just wanted to know she was safe. He cared for her. Beyond her understanding, he really did care for her.

"I'm safe."

He breathed a sigh of relief. He always did. Like her safety was of the utmost importance to him. And maybe it was.

Then he took a step towards her and she didn't flinch away like she sometimes did, when it all became too much, too alien. He brought his gloved hand up and caressed her face gently, murmuring, "This is why I remain in the Dark, to feel. I feel so much for you, my Rey."

But she bristled at that, "I'm not yours," she spit out, nearly hissing.

"Tell me, do they force you to be cold? To surrender your feelings? To surrender yourself? All to the Light Side?"

"No...I-I can feel what I want."

"And what do you want?"

"You."

He crashed their lips together hotly, every sense in her taken over by his heat. He burned. Everything about him was fire to her ice. His gloved hands trailed over her face, and undid her hair to run through it. She caught his fingers one by one with her teeth and tugged his gloves from his hands so she could feel his warm flesh on her.

He never let her unclothe him beyond his gloves. And he never appeared to her with his mask anymore. But he laid her down on the floor and unwound all the garments from her body until she was cold and naked under his searing gaze and heated hands.

It always started the same.

He would rub her nipples between his hot fingers, warming them and causing them to harden all at once. They pebbled under his ministrations and before long he had them between his teeth, his warm breath steaming against her skin.

He slipped his hot digits into her damp slit, rubbing her clit with his warm thumb while he pushed two of his long, skilled fingers into her core. She whined and cried as she came apart beneath him, and he soothed the ache, like he always did, murmuring and purring sweet, seductive things to her. Things that made her want to leave the Light. Things that made her want to follow him into the Dark, and never look back. 

It always ended the same too.

She'd scream herself hoarse underneath his warm body, tugging his hair and scratching at his clothes. He'd kiss her eyelids, her nose, so softly, and then finally her mouth. He'd whisper, "I love you. So much." And she'd wake up into the waking world, into her current reality. 

There were loud, bustling sounds of the Resistance all around her, even through the walls of her tiny room, her own little space. And she wished she could stay in the quiet, still darkness with Kylo Ren for just a while longer. But she couldn't.

So she got up and started her day, fighting for the Resistance. It always ended the same-with her wishing she could go back to him, just to be with him; that maybe they wouldn't be on opposite sides of a war. But she couldn't. And they were. So it always ended the same. Apart. 


	2. Capsize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time they encounter each other in their shared dreamscape it doesn’t go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: “Capsize” by Frenship & Emily Warren

When it all had started, really started, for the first time, Kylo Ren had felt like he was drowning. He had opened his eyes to their shared dreamscape and his awareness of her was stifling, smothering, it consumed all his senses. He had capsized and couldn’t breathe for the feel of her upon his senses. 

He was gasping on his knees and she hesitantly approached him, all the Light in her spilling out, making her face radiant, and asked, “Are you alright? Are you safe?”

He had taken a great, gulping breath, then another, and she had reached her tiny hand down to him, to help him as if he were a small child. 

He threw her from him with the Force and stood suddenly, shaking his head side to side, removing her gossamer veil from over his mind. She lay in a crumpled heap, not moving, not speaking, and he felt-regret. Damn.

He had felt regret when he had trapped her in the chair. He had felt regret when he didn’t go with her. And now he felt regret, for hurting her after she tried again to help him. 

_‘Don’t be afraid, I feel it too.’_

He remembered those words he had spoken so long ago, as if in a dream though dreaming now he was. 

Don’t be afraid, Rey. I feel it too. I feel the connection we have to each other, the pull. Sometimes it’s overwhelming. Sometimes it breaks all my mental barriers down and I panic and lash out. Don’t be afraid of me, Rey. I’ll get better. I’ll be better. 

He walked over to where she lay and reached a hand out. He couldn’t speak an apology, not yet, but he could offer her this-a hand up from a capsizing ship. 


	3. All Around Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo Ren form a shaky truce.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: “All Around Me” by Flyleaf

How can the story be told? 

How can she explain how her heart shuttered then cracked open within minutes after he threw her aside like the garbage she used to scavenge for, then bent to help her up?

She could feel him. All around her. The Force was so new to her. She was untrained. She had rejected his offer to train her, after seeing the monstrosities the Dark had pulled him to. But she knew in that moment, as he bent to help her, that no matter how he cloaked himself in the Dark, inside, deep inside himself, he was made of Light. 

She could feel his presence in the Force, alongside her own Force signature. He felt like a breaking bow, cracked and splintered with sorrow, and grief. His pain hurt her. Their sadness twinned and clanged together, simultaneously hushing and screeching in shared sorrow. 

She took his hand as an apology tumbled from his mouth and she replied, “I forgive you.”

“What?”

“I forgive you.”

“How...?”

“Because I can feel you’re like me.”

“I’m not a nothing scavenger. From nothing. Going to nothing.”

“No, but I can feel your pain like my own. And I want to help you.”

“You can’t help me, not like I can help you. Join me.”

“No. And I know you won’t come with me, you‘ve already made that clear. But...maybe, while we’re here, if we come back...could we just be here together? You could...”

“What?”

“You could tell me about your day...you know?”

“That sounds idiotic.”

“It’s simple. Like me, I guess.”

Their hands finally parted and Rey made to sit down. Kylo Ren huffed but then joined her on the floor. It didn’t look like either of them would be waking to the real world anytime soon. 

“I...today I...ugh this is foolish.”

“Today I worked on repairing some ships. I know some of the obscure parts and how they work better than most because I used to scavenge such old parts on Jakku.”

“Today I worked with the Knights of Ren to find some outlying Resistance fighters who had infiltrated our ranks...I can’t believe this is happening. I’m not sharing anything with you, not like this, scum.”

“You don’t have to. I just want to know how you are. I know you must feel remorse for your actions because you have such grief in you, so much pain.”

“I feel no remorse!”

“Then, teach me. Teach me the ways of the Force. Seems like we’re stuck here together at least for tonight. Teach me and we’ll start from there.”

“You’ve been trained.”

“And do you ever stop learning?”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”


	4. Parachutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey takes comfort in being around Kylo Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: “Parachutes” by Coldplay

It had started so simply. Idiotically. But here they were.

“The Force isn’t Dark or Light, it just is. What you choose to do within the Force determines which side you serve.”

“And you serve the Dark.”

“I serve myself.”

“I see.”

“If you were smarter, you’d serve yourself too. Don’t let yourself get pulled down by the ragtag group of ‘friends’ you’re currently serving.”

“I don’t serve them. I have relationships with them. They’re give and take.”

“You give me your company you take comfort, I guess.”

“And what do you take from this? Comfort?” He sneered the word, like it was something filthy. 

“Yes.”

She said it like it was the simplest thing in the world. Like it didn’t shatter everything in him. Yes. She took comfort from being here with him.


	5. Jumper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren regrets his actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: “Jumper” by Third Eye Blind

“Ben.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“That’s who you are.”

“I am not Ben. He’s dead. I killed him. I...don’t deserve to be called that...”

She reached up to the mask he unfailingly wore, and pressed her fingers lightly against the mouth piece, where she could hear his breath stuttering, “Ben...let me see you?”

He took the mask off, and she ran her fingers over the long scar down his face, where his spirit had split to the bone upon murdering his father-because he was so conflicted, because he had been in such a helpless position, because he was still good. He was still Ben. 

“You were forced to do those things, those things I called you names over. I see that now. I can see it in how deeply that anguish tore at you, through you, in how much sorrow I feel from you even now. I wish I could help you. I wish it was as easy as you taking my hand and coming with me.”

“You are too kind. And it will be your undoing. It’s a weakness, Rey. One you should kill.”

He almost slammed his mask back on, forcing her fingers away from him and the traitorous mark in his weak flesh. He moved across their shared dreamscape, as far from her as possible. 

“Don’t touch me. And don’t call me Ben. Ben is dead. I killed him.”


	6. Walking With a Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren & Rey discuss what may be linking them through the Force to their shared dreamscape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: “Walking With a Ghost” by Tegan and Sara

“Is it going to be like this every night now?”

“I guess so.”

“I thought...Snoke said he had connected us before you killed him, but now he’s dead and-”

“He’s really dead. He’s not coming back. I don’t know what’s connecting us in the Force like this. Maybe it’s the will of the Force? Maybe it’s some shadow of what Snoke did?”

She shivered slightly, “I hate to think of anything he did affecting me at all.”

“Me too.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think, I-”

“It’s fine. You don’t have to do that you know.”

“Do what?”

“Be afraid. Afraid of upsetting me. Afraid for my feelings. Afraid of my feelings. Afraid of me. Any of it. All of it.”

“I don’t want to upset you Kylo...”

“I know, Rey. I know.”


	7. To the Moon & Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren and Rey disagree on her self-worth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: “To the Moon & Back” by Savage Garden

“I didn’t mean it, you know...”

“Mean what?”

“You’re not nothing.”

“Then why did you say it?”

“To hurt you. To break you. So you’d join me.”

“Didn’t work.”

“Obviously.”

“Well. It’s true anyway, it’s probably why it didn’t break me. How can the truth break me if it’s already realized?”

“It’s not true. How do you think that? It was a weak lie at best.”

“Because I’m a nothing junk scavenger. From a nothing planet. And I’m going to nothing. If I come from nothing and am going to nothing then I’m nothing. Simple.”

“You’re infuriatingly strong, and smart. And...beautiful.”

“You think I’m beautiful?”

“I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about.”

“Wow...says the man who can’t care enough to put a towel on when he’s walking around shirtless like a peacock with his feathers out.”

Kylo Ren smirked, his thick lips pulling up crookedly in his smug mirth, “You liked it.”

“I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about.”


	8. Soul Meets Body

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren & Rey contemplate what it would be like to be new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: “Soul Meets Body” by Death Cab for Cutie

“I want...I wish...I wish I could be new. A new person. From somewhere new. Going somewhere new. New body. New soul.”

“You don’t need to be new, Ben. You’re good just the way you are.”

“I don’t feel like it.”

“Well, most days I feel the same.”

“Maybe we can run away and be new together.”

“I wish we could.”

“But you won’t come with me.”

“I won’t go with you.”

“And I won’t come with you.”

“You won’t go with me.”

“We both have a lot of roads left in our shoes.”

“We do.”

“Maybe one day.”

“Maybe.”


	9. Shock To Your System

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey wakes to find Ben dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: “Shock To Your System” by Tegan and Sara

“Ben! You’re hurt!”

That he couldn’t immediately return with some snarky comment shot her nerves higher.

Ben was laying on the floor, his cloak in tatters, with blood puddling on the floor underneath him. He was very pale. His eyes were open, but glassy, and he wasn’t looking at her.

“Ben! Ben? Ben!”

No response.

She ran to him, fell to her knees, and despaired. She couldn’t fix this. He was-dead.

“Please Ben, please wake up. Please, I need you...” She was sobbing now, the cries ripping through her gutturally like wind howling through the desert night.

* * *

Rey woke up with a scream. Had that been real? Something like that had never happened. How could she even check? She had never tried to contact Ben through the Force before. She couldn’t go to him now, she didn’t even know where he was. Had that been an actual dream or was he dead in real life and she had just seen it through their connection?

She had no recourse. She took a sleeping draught she had pilfered from a med kit when their shared dreamscapes had started, hoping she could use it one day to avoid seeing him if possible. How ironic that now she was using it to try, desperately try, to see Ben.

As her eyes were closing she heard a tearing noise and Ben’s voice screaming her name. Her eyelids fluttered but the draught had already pulled her under, and she was asleep.

She opened her eyes to their shared dreamscape and Ben was there frantically pacing. He rushed to her and grabbed her arms tightly, tight enough she knew they’d have bruises the next day.

“Rey! Rey, are you alive? Is this real?”

“Ben! Yes, yes I’m alive. And you are too? Please, Maker, please let this be real.”

He took a shuddering breath to try and compose himself but his voice still cracked with grief, “I dreamt you were dead.”

She had started to babble the same as he said the words and they both stopped.

“Thank the Force,” Ben breathed, releasing his harsh grip from her arms to ghost his fingers all over her face as if he was counting each eyelash, each freckle, to assure himself nothing was amiss.

“What happened? What caused that?” Rey blurted, still shaken, while Ben continued to trace her features with his fingers, taking deep, slow breaths all the while to calm his racing heart.

“I don’t know. But I’ll find out. And whoever did that to us will pay. I’ll make them suffer,” he vowed, reassuring himself as much as he was trying to reassure her.

“I don’t want them to suffer, I just want to know why.”

“I’ll figure it out. And I’ll fix this. It won’t happen again, Rey. You can be sure of that.”

“I believe you.”

“Good.”


	10. Angels On the Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren and Rey come up with a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song “Angels On the Moon” by Thriving Ivory

“I think this is Snoke’s work.”

“What? But he’s dead.”

“I think he opened up a channel between us and it hasn’t closed. As for what happened last night, I believe his spirit can somehow manipulate things through the Force still. It’s the only way that could have happened. I didn’t meditate before I slept, I haven’t been because...because I didn’t want to shut you out, Rey, but we need to figure out how to shut him out without shutting each other out...i-if you want to that is.”

“Of course I want to keep seeing you, Ben. I don’t want to wake from these dreams, I don’t want to be told I’m dreaming, I want this to be my reality.”

“Alright, I’ll teach you.”


	11. River

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey reflects on how she feels around Kylo Ren now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: “River” by Bishop Briggs

Things had changed. It was always charged, electric, when they were sharing any space. But now, the other’s presence pulled through them, flowing like a peaceful river at times and crashing into them like rapids at others. 

For Rey, seeing Ben’s face punched through her chest now, it took her breathe away.

It was difficult to practice meditation. She was supposed to be clearing her mind before sleep but all she could think of was seeing Ben again. What would he say? What would he do? Would he touch her again? 

Every time he touched her, every time one of them touched the other, in the shared dreamscape it felt like lightning singing through her. She didn’t know if she liked it or not but it was something, and she wanted to feel it again, more, maybe she could decide how she felt about it the next time he touched her-or the next.


	12. The Hardest Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren reflects on Rey’s reaction to him touching her and his role in the First Order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: “The Hardest Part” by Coldplay

She had flinched when he touched her. It could have been from the shared sensation of lightning when they touched. Or it could have been that she was disgusted by him. Everything he did was wrong. It was the hardest part of everything he was. 

He knew the First Order was corrupt, just as the Empire had been. He had known his ‘Master’ was corrupt before he murdered him. But he didn’t see the Dark as corrupt. It was a different way of experiencing the Force, a different way of experiencing life. The Rebellion was also corrupt, had corrupt leaders. They couldn’t all be saints like his Mother.

But he wanted to be above it all. He wanted to build something new, something uncorrupt. He wanted to lead the Galaxy to a better place, he really did. And he knew he could do that with stubborn, intelligent, infuriating Rey by his side. But she wouldn’t come with him, and he wouldn’t go with her. And she flinched when he touched her. It was the hardest part. Everything he did was wrong. 

And she flinched when he touched her. Wrong. He was wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. 

And she flinched when he touched her. 


	13. Fix You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey senses something is wrong with Kylo Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: “Fix You” by Coldplay

“Ben!”

She could feel something very wrong with Ben through the Force. He was raging, and in so much pain. It was the middle of the day, but she tried reaching out him through the Force.

Suddenly the maw of rage and sorrow she felt gaping from inside her where Ben’s warm presence usually held residence in her awareness winked out and she was left with nothing at all. His presence was gone. She panicked and screamed his name in her mind over and over until finally she felt his presence again, quiet tendrils reaching for her as if to gently hush her.

* * *

That night, she ran to him and threw her arms around him and he stiffened in shock.

“Don’t ever do that to me again, I thought something terrible had happened to you!”

He didn’t say anything, just wrapped his arms around her and held her close to his chest, with a slightly dazed expression on his face.

“Please, Ben, whatever is wrong, let me help, let me fix it for you, let me fix you, that pain and anger in you,” she mumbled against his chest, everything in her screaming to help this strong but sensitive man.

He brought a gloved hand to her face and cradled it, relishing her reaction-she shut her eyes and leaned into the touch.

“You’ve already fixed it, fixed me.”


	14. Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo Ren share their first kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: “Talk” by Coldplay

“I was so upset, because it felt like-it seemed like every time I would touch you, you’d flinch away from it, from me.”

“Ben, sometimes, used to be every time, when we would touch it would almost feel like lightning coursing through me. It wasn’t you making me flinch, I don’t think I would ever shy away from your touches now.”

“Now. Rey. I-I’ve tortured you. I’ve hurt you. I’m a monster. How can you stand it? To be in my arms right now?”

“You’ve been very misguided. You’ve let your anger and hatred guide you. You’ve made mistakes, just like everyone does.”

“You can’t just excuse my deplorable behavior so simply.”

“I’m not excusing it. It was wrong. And now, going forward, you don’t do that again. Not excusing-moving on.”

He bent to her, their lips hovering so close she could feel his warm breath against her mouth. But it was Rey that pushed their lips together finally, groaning as soon as they met and lightning tingled through her mouth.


	15. The Ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren reflects on his first kiss with Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: “The Ocean (feat. Shy Martin)” by Mike Perry

Kissing her was like floating in the ocean. In her ocean. Safety and warmth and light. If sharing presence with her had used to be like capsizing, now he felt like he was safely ensconced, not drowning. 

She was his light, and he would follow her anywhere. He couldn’t remember when he had stopped wearing his mask around her. He couldn’t remember when he had stopped shying away when she touched the rend on his face, the split in his soul made physical. 

He was safe. He was warm. She was his light and he had never felt more complete.


End file.
